Perfecting Your Kid’s Bedtime Routine

Bedtime sounds a lot more relaxed than it ever is; as much as we love our kids, trying to cement a consistent routine with the stresses of daily life can feel tricky at times. It’s also a minefield knowing how to adjust your routine as your kids grow, which can pose even more obstacles when it comes to giving them the sleep they need. From how much sleep do nine-year-olds need? To what time should a 6-year-old go to bed? We’ve got all the answers you need to perfect your child’s bedtime routine right here. 

How does sleep impact behaviour and development? 

Sleep impacts children far more than adults, because their brains and bodies are still developing at a rapid rate. While good sleep improves mood, boosts attention and memory, supports brain development and helps kids grow, and strengthens the immune system, bad sleep has the opposite effect. CEO of The Sleep Charity, Vicki Beevers tells us that ‘when it comes to sleep, we seem as a nation to be very accepting of sleep deprivation – which can have serious consequences for mental, physical and emotional health.”

If your child isn’t getting enough sleep or their sleep quality is poor, you could expect more tantrums and mood swings (particularly in puberty), issues with focusing and hyperactivity, possible delays in cognitive, emotional and social development and risks of more extreme behavioural issues and anxiety. Age-appropriate bedtimes and creating a realistic pre-bed routine can really help improve sleep, and so can creating the ideal sleep setup where they feel comfortable. Kids mattresses are ideal for growing children, and toddler mattresses are perfect for babies and younger children. 

How much sleep should children get? 

Different ages can benefit from different amounts of sleep – with younger children traditionally needing more sleep than older children. This graphic shows how much they need, including naps: 

What time should my child go to bed? 

Now you know how much sleep your kids need, it’ll help if you know when they should hit the hay. Newborn sleep varies massively; newborns aged 6-8 weeks usually sleep in shorter cycles of about 2-4 hours, so they don’t follow the usual day-night cycle – instead it’s just about meeting their sleep needs whenever you can. By around 3-4 months, your child may develop a more predictable sleep time of around 7-9pm. It gets a little more clearcut from there, so we’ve pulled together this helpful table to show you: 

The ideal bedtime routine  

The best bedtime routines for children may differ between term time and school holidays, and a toddler bedtime routine might look little different to a teenager. Despite this, there are some pre-sleep rituals that will be really helpful when it comes to your child sleeping the best they can. After dinner and homework is polished up, aim to start your routine about an hour before bed to minimise stress: 

Fuelling rest with a nutritious dinner.

Certain foods are meant to impact sleep: sugary foods can peak energy and make bedtimes more difficult; things like oily fish and chicken help the body release chemicals that prepare kids for sleep, while fibre-rich foods like sweet potato aid the body’s natural digestive process overnight.

Enjoy some calming activities. 

Keep high-energy activities for right after school, prioritising calming ones like lego, reading or colouring for before bed. This helps relax kids’ brains and reduce stress, whereas high-energy activities may mean they struggle to drop off. Also try to avoid screen time for an hour before bed, as blue light has been shown to delay sleep. 

 Setting a ‘lights out’ time.

Consistency can be tricky when it comes to kids, but having a consistent ‘lights out’ time to work towards can help you establish a routine. This also means your child’s brain and body will begin to prepare for sleep at roughly the same time every night, helping them rest better. 

 Bathe or shower.

Your kids might prefer to wash in the morning, but bathing or showering at night can soothe the body and help them feel sleepy. Using a gentle wash with scents like lavender and camomile can promote further feelings of relaxation. 

Create a ‘safe’ space for sleep.

If kids feel comforted, they’re more likely to feel secure, reducing stress before bed and priming them for a restful sleep. Make sure they’re in their favourite pyjamas, with a stuffed toy for younger children and maybe a nightlight within sight. A cradling toddler mattress or kids' mattress can also help set the scene. 

Sing a bedtime lullaby or read a book.

Younger children may benefit from being sung a soothing lullaby or being read to until they begin to feel drowsy. Then, if you’re participating in sleep training – slip out just before they fall asleep. 

Routine additions for school time 

CEO of The Sleep Charity, Vicki Beevers states, ‘during the break it’s tempting to allow youngsters to sleep in later, however it’s important that they get into a routine before they go back to school.’ There will be some extra things you can do during term time to make sure your child has a routine that better suits the earlier mornings and prepares them for learning: 

Set an earlier bedtime, and an earlier wake time. 

During the summer holidays, routine goes out of the window, which means many children aren’t getting the same bedtimes and wake times as they do when they’re in school. Additional rest is necessary to recharge in the holidays, but it can make returning to school and getting back into a routine difficult. To combat this, gradually move bedtimes and wake times earlier for a few days before they go back to school.  

Limit homework anxiety before bed.

Homework will never not be stressful, whether your child is young or about to head into college. It can cause some children to lose sleep, so make sure you fuel your child with a healthy snack and encourage them to complete their homework before dinner time – that way it’s out of the way before bed. And if they feel there is too much, work with them to split up the work into blocks so it feels less overwhelming, rewarding them with their favourite show or a treat after. And always, always give them a safe space to vent their worries, even if it’s just over dinner. 

Prepare a nutrient-rich breakfast.

A lot of work for bedtime routines doesn’t just go into the pre-bed part; there’s things you can do throughout the day to help your child stay well-rested. A healthy breakfast that releases energy during the day goes hand in hand with quality sleep to make sure they’re set for learning. We know preparing a full spread of breakfast is unrealistic when you’ve got to prep your kids for school, but there are some easy ways of making sure they get their fill of nutrients before they step foot in the classroom for the day. Start with wholegrains like oats or wholegrain toast, add a protein like eggs or yogurt and add some fruit to keep it well-rounded. 

The importance of calming your kids before sleep 

The best kids’ sleep schedules involve an element of relaxation, as this can help younger minds drift off – and it might just help busy parent minds have a moment of calm, too. Science tells us this is essential for managing stress or anxiety before bed, and it encourages their brains to slow down: calming activities trigger the shift from active (sympathetic) mode to rest-and-digest (parasympathetic) mode. A low-stimulation environment – for example, one with dim lights and no screens – also lets the brain know it’s time to rest. It’ll also help to lower cortisol, the stress hormone, which can prevent wakeups in the night. Most of all, though, kids will feel comfortable and safe, giving you some beautiful connection time between parent and child.  

Managing pre-bed screen time 

This is unlikely to be relevant for say, bedtime routines for 2-year-olds, but screen time has been shown to negatively impact sleep – and not only for kids. This is to do with blue light: being exposed to so much before bed tells the brain it’s daytime, which can mess with natural sleep cues and melatonin production, making kids less likely to feel sleepy. Games, videos or chatting online can also stimulate the parts of the brain that need to rest, which can make winding down harder – and may also delay bedtime if they don’t have a set stop time. 

Don’t forget... 

And our last tip? Remember that children learn by example, so whatever healthy sleep routines you’re trying to establish, and whatever household rules you’re trying to follow, make sure you try to join in. Which means healthy meals, relaxing evening activities and a book at bedtime. There’s no better way to teach them, and it might just help you sleep better too.