Britain has slipped into a “hug recession” according to a sleep expert.
Lisa Artis, Deputy CEO of the Sleep Charity believes one of the most cost effective ways to unwind before bed is also one of the simplest, a cuddle.
Yet a new nationwide survey of 2,000 UK adults reveals just how out of touch we’ve become.
According to the findings commissioned by sleep technology company, Simba - over half of Brits (53%) say their phone is the last thing they hold or touch before going to sleep, with 42 percent saying they rarely cuddle, hug or have physical contact in the evenings.
So much so, over a third (34%) of Brits feel “touch-starved”, while almost half (45%) crave more physical touch before bed. Despite sharing a bed, couples are going to sleep with their hands curled around their devices rather than their loved ones. The poll reveals one in three (33%) are more likely to pick up their phone than their partner’s hand at bedtime. A similar amount often make no physical contact before falling asleep. (34%)
According to the data, 49 percent of solo sleepers say they rarely experience any calming touch in the evenings. As a result, 45 percent of singles and 40 percent of couples say they often go to bed feeling “physically disconnected”.
“Touch it’s one of the most powerful under-rated free sleep-aids we have,” says Artis. “It’s a natural regulator of stress, helping to lower cortisol, ease anxiety and prepare the nervous system for deep sleep.
“Even a couple of minutes of close, comforting contact can have an impact on how calm we feel at bedtime.”
“Touch isn’t just emotional, it’s biochemical. It’s a biological cue that tells the body it’s safe to drop into rest mode.”
The study also shows, the less sleep Brits get, the more physical closeness disappears from bedtime.
Among the most sleep deprived, clocking under four hours a night, nearly two thirds (63%) admit their phone is in their hand every single night in bed, while almost half (48%) agree they rarely hold hands, hug, or snuggle with their partner before lights out.
Artis explains that physical contact - hugging, holding hands, leaning in, stroking a pet or even using certain bedding textures - can help to trigger a cluster of natural responses:
1. Oxytocin release
Often called the “bonding hormone”, it encourages feelings of trust and safety. “Oxytocin can help counteract cortisol, the stress hormone that delays sleep onset,” says Artis.
2. Nervous system regulation
Gentle touch activates the parasympathetic nervous system - the body’s ‘rest and digest’ mode. It slows the heart rate, deepens breathing and reduces tension in the muscles that stay switched on when stress levels are high.
3. Emotional buffering
“Loneliness and sleep problems are closely linked. Touch helps people feel grounded. That sense of being comforted is powerful, even if it lasts 30 seconds.”
Artis explains that when we disconnect physically - especially after a stressful day - the nervous system stays “switched on”, making it harder for the brain to move into the deeper stages of sleep.
“These benefits aren’t limited to couples. The body doesn’t distinguish between a hug from a partner, a child, a friend or even a supportive sleep prop.”
LISA SHARES HOW TO GET BACK IN TOUCH
1. Try a two-minute “oxytocin boost”
A short period of intentional touch - as little as two to five minutes - is enough to help trigger the brain’s oxytocin response.
That could be:
- Resting a hand on your pet as you unwind
- A hug in bed
- Simply holding hands while you chat or read
- Gentle stroking on the back or arms
- Resting your head on your partner’s shoulder or chest
- Take time to cuddle with your child during bedtime story time
2. Swap your phone scroll for a “wind-down cuddle window”
Our devices work against physical closeness - a phenomenon researchers call technoference.
Replacing even 60 seconds of scrolling with a moment of touch can help to regulate breathing, slow mental chatter, dial down the stress response and send cues to the brain that sleep is imminent.
Physiologically, it’s the opposite of doom-scrolling and more powerful.
3. If you sleep alone, recreate the ‘held’ sensation
The benefits of touch don’t disappear if you’re single or sleep solo. Mindful pressure touch is enough to help some people unwind.
Place one or both hands gently over your heart or abdomen. Focus on the warmth and the natural rhythm of your breathing and heartbeat. You can gently rub in a circular motion if that feels more soothing. These can help to slow your breathing and signal safety.
Also try gently stroking your arms from shoulder to elbow.
If you’ve got a pet but don’t love sharing your bed with them, a few minutes curled up together on the sofa can offer the same steady, grounding comfort.
4. Try a “comfort anchor”
For some, too much contact can feel suffocating rather than soothing, so it’s important to find the right balance for you.
A good compromise is creating a quick ritual of contact - a hug, a hand squeeze - then shifting into your usual sleeping position.
For people who prefer more space, a body support works as a physical anchor that still provides pressure, comfort and stability without overheating or restricted movement.
Simba’s Body Pillow, helps encourage optimum alignment by reducing pressure on shoulders and hips. As a maternity pillow, it can support both hips and bump. You hug one end of the pillow and wrap your legs around the other. It can help to give the comforting sensation of being gently anchored, helping your body relax and settle into sleep more easily.
“We think we’re winding down together,” Lisa explains, “but a lot of the time we’re sitting side-by-side, looking at our phones. A few minutes of touch can completely change the brain’s chemistry and make it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep."
5. Use touch to break the stress-sleep-stress loop
Stress disrupts sleep. Poor sleep increases stress. Touch is one of the few free tools that can help to actively break that cycle.
By lowering cortisol and activating the parasympathetic nervous system, the body becomes more able to reach deeper stages of sleep - particularly slow-wave sleep, which is essential for emotional regulation and recovery.
Artis says many people assume they’re “bad sleepers” when in reality they’re simply going to bed with a nervous system that’s still on high alert.
A few minutes of physical closeness can help to shift the body out of that state.
